Clarity & Chaos: In our culture, where rape and harassment and...
Dec 15, 2011

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In our culture, where rape and harassment and abuse are so common, men have lost the right (if it ever existed) to insist that women should be able to differentiate (in a matter of seconds) between the harmless and the threatening. A man is entitled to a presumption of innocence from a jury in a courtroom, but not from his classmate with whom he tries to strike up what she ought to know is just an innocent conversation.

In Rape Culture, All Men Are Guilty Until Proven Innocent by Hugo Schwyzer — The Good Men Project

Rape culture is an excellent example of how sexism and sexist structures hurt men, too - and that it would help men, too, if they take up feminist positions.

I made the mistake of skimming through the comments. I don’t think Schwyzer is being misandrist. One could maybe argue that rape culture (which has been proven to be a thing numerous times by now) is almost as misandrist as it is misogynist. (edit: Okay, maybe not as misandrist as misogynist, after all women* are vastly more often the victim than men*. But misandry is certainly there.) It’s simply a sad reality that girls/women are taught to and have to be cautious when they encounter boys/men they don’t know. Schwyzer is simply unveiling a fact - and unveiling a certain brand of Nice Guy sexism in the process (and by no means is the first to do so.) The ‘odd’ thing is that the same type of people that accuse Schwyzer of being misandrist are the same that give out victim-centric “rape prevention” advice. 

Being a guy who is genuinely interested in fashion, it sure is annoying that I have to accept the fact that the girl I smile at because I like her look maybe (probably) thinks that I lust after her. She can’t see that I’m an engaged feminist who likes pretty purses or nice nail-polish.

One of the (trolling) commentators compared Schwyzer to Sandusky (wtf!?) since his “misandrist” texts would “ruin” young boys reading The Good Men Project website for advice. The opposite is true, in my (not exactly objective) opinion: Through texts like Schwyzer’s boys and young men may learn why girls/women often react a certain way - and why it’s not “the bitches fault” but rather the fucking system’s fault. Only by working towards a world without rape (even though that’s quite utopian) or at least a world with less rape apologism, a less rape-y culture can men regain some of their “innocence.” Part of that is also educating men to feel less entitled when it comes to sex and reducing the hunter/prey rhetoric.

Not all men are rapists, by no means no. But women are cautious for a reason.

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